Kiss loneliness

 Is it a kiss goodbye, a hello or just a bit of both.

A friend once told me that some emotions cannot be explained but experienced to understand them. 

So is loneliness.

Growing up sucks, but not when you see it as an escape of your own reality, 

Not when your childhood is full of decisions that takeaway safety and bring weirdness. 

Not when you are always sacred of a screaming father and a crying mother, and never know how to express what you feel or what you think

Not when your only true friend is your daily, and you have to pretend with other humans because you just feel a void, a sense of emptiness that would be described as lonely.

Icebreaking age or just teen age, age of powerlessness. 

It’s both powerful and powerless at the same time, every decision you make will have to be with you for the long run. 

You got keep up, impress and meet some expectations. 

You think you got it, but you are just walking in the direction that you don’t know of, walking blind because you don’t know what future holds. But there has to be one, what choice do you have? You keep walking.

There is this confusion between fitting in with your age mate, pleasing your parents, preparing the future or dealing with science and love and there; 

the chemicals of your brain concentrates to the darkest corners of your mind, depression, anxiety or rather suicidal kick in. 

No one can decipher what you are feeling just you and your mind trying to live a day after another with that unsettling feeling of keeping it together, while keeping the smile. 

You think the adulthood is any different? No! You just escaped the limbo but deep inside you are just the same scarred little kid. You keep asking yourself where it all went down. Did you take too many chances? Did you let to many pass you? Or did you just throw it all away? 

People come and people go, you see a thousand things and explore a thousand minds and you realize that each passerby is just vivid and has his own complexion as you. 

You sometimes have a glimpse of what life would have been if you would have made different choices. Imaginations left you this subtle feeling of being out of place which can only be describe as loneliness.

It’s said a heart without love is like a bird without wings to fly. But what is love when you feel a certain feeling and deep down you are just asking yourself how do I win this war alone? it’s like you’re fighting with a ghost. You have this void that needs to be filled, there is this emptiness you are filling in your other half but something is still missing. 

It’s like when you lost someone dearly and they took with them a part of you, but also you left with a part of them, there will always be a void inside of you with a name of sweet grief.

Kiss of loneliness, if you look clearly and closely you will only see that each one of us at a certain point walked into these walls of powerlessness, helplessness, hopelessness, emptiness and yet loneliness in life.

You will found out that loneliness can kiss any age, any race, any geographical location and any background.

Kiss loneliness isn’t a kiss goodbye or hello, is just a bit of both and the in between.